When Love and Hate Collide

This article came up under the 'Focus on the Family' series in today's (16 August 2007) edition of the TODAY paper.

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY  BY DR JAMES DOBSON

WHEN LOVE AND HATE COLLIDE

Isn’t it curious how in the midst of a nasty family argument we can shake out of a bad mood the instant the telephone rings or a neighbour knocks on the door ?  Sometimes, it seems that those we love the most, we treat the worst; and kids are quick to notice this hypocrisy.

Have you ever been brought up short by a small voice questioning your sudden turn to peaches and cream after 20 minutes of fire and venom ? 

Mark Hatfield, long-time Senator from Oregon and a father of four, says his wife brought him up short once by saying: “I just wish you were as patient with your children as you are with your constituents.”

Somehow we’re all guilty from time to time of what I call “split vision”: treating certain people with unending forbearance and giving every benefit of the doubt; while heaping instant contempt on others under our own roof.

We assume the worst, pounce on every shortcoming and never miss an opportunity to deliver a corrective harangue.  Isn’t it time to cut one another a little slack at home?  

If in fact we love our spouses, children and parents as much as we proclaim on every greeting card, one way to show it is to give them at least as many smiles and kind words as we bestow on our casual acquaintances.  __________________________________________________________________________________________

It is obvious that the premise of the writer here is that all outward forms and expressions of love is perceived to be harder to be exchanged between loved ones than between lesser acquaintances, by virtue of the measure of cordiality in the mutual relationships.  And that such a prevalence in human relationships is bad.

On the contrary, is this not how the love between closed ones is made authentic; and set apart from all other relationships with those outside of that 'love circle' ?  Is it not because that that love between two individuals is true to all form and essence that each party desires for perfection on the part of the other, as well as for his or her own self (and vice-versa) ?  

Notwithstanding that all humanity is made imperfect, but is that justification for not striving with each other on towards the goal of perfection, for the sake of each other in the face of a common Creator ?